Showerthought: Is a gift bad because it's useless or because the giver didn't think about you at all?

Okay so I was at my cousin's place last weekend and she showed me this candle her coworker gave her for her birthday. It's one of those candles that smells like bacon. She doesn't eat meat let alone bacon. So we got into this debate. She says the worst gifts are the ones you can't use like a bacon candle for a vegetarian. I argued the worst part is knowing they grabbed something random and didn't even try. Like my aunt once gave me a case of expired hot sauce from a brand I hate. That felt worse than a useless gift cause it showed zero thought. What do you think is worse - a gift that's totally useless but well meant, or one that shows they didn't care enough to pick something personal? Curious how you guys rank bad gifts cause I'm still split on this.

3 comments

3 Comments

wendy_jackson4d ago

Go ahead and call me the grinch here but honestly people get way too worked up about gift etiquette sometimes. Unless the person is actively rude about handing it over (like your aunt with the expired hot sauce) does it really matter that much in the grand scheme of things? A terrible gift is still just a gift and you can toss it in the back of a closet and move on with your life.

park.abby3d ago

Oh come on, you can't just brush off every bad gift like that. I get what you're saying but there's a difference between a boring candle and something that shows the person doesn't know you at all. Like when my uncle gave me a book about hunting dogs. I have never owned a dog or gone hunting in my life. It's not about being ungrateful, it's about feeling like the person just grabbed something random without thinking. Don't you think it matters at least a little bit that the person put some thought into it?

kai_park4d ago

My grandma once gave me a lavender scented candle that smelled exactly like a nursing home hallway. I kept it on my desk for two years just because it made me laugh every time I saw it.