Honestly, calling it a 'paper emergency' is a bit dramatic. Tbh, save the panic for when you're actually buried in dust.

My old roommate used to burn toast so bad it set off the smoke alarm weekly. Sounds like @carter.shane and I lived with the same kind of cook, just different appliances. Why do people treat kitchen timers like vague suggestions anyway?

That upgrade line reminds me of my dad refusing to get a smartphone charger that wasn't the exact same brand as his phone from 2010. Some habits are just glued in place.