At a Thai place in Wicker Park last spring I let a guy order for both of us and he picked the one dish with peanuts, which I am very much allergic to. So I just sat there moving rice around my plate while he talked about his fantasy football league for 40 minutes. The sea bass thing is honestly a win by comparison, at least you got a real dinner out of it. My move now is to order first and order loud, even if the waiter is looking at him. It saves everyone the awkward silence and I get to eat what I actually want.

The "I messed up 9 times without saying what I messed up" thing is exactly what gets me. I read a piece a while back about how a real apology has to name the harm, otherwise it's just words that sound like sorry. Nobody has to earn a second chance by waiting, they earn it by saying the actual thing out loud.