300 unread is wild but the water notice was probably just pinned

How long did you go with the parsnips? They're denser than carrots so I'd add a few minutes and maybe cut them a bit thinner. Drying them off first is huge too, same deal as the carrots.

Ran into the same mess in my league two years back when a guy got called out for an old group chat screenshot. What finally worked was letting him pick a team name that made fun of himself first, like "Banned From Twitter FC" or something. Once everyone laughed it off, the whole thing died down and he was back to normal the next week. Making it a joke took the power away from it, if that makes sense.