Loving this so much because I have been on the receiving end of a gift that missed the mark and I know that weird guilt of not wanting to toss it but also not wanting it in your life. Turning it into a garage trash bin ritual is honestly genius and way better than letting it collect dust. I did something kind of similar with a decorative soap dispenser my mom got me shaped like a seashell that played a little tune. I made it the official hand wash timer and now everyone in my house holds their hands under the water until the song ends. Bad gifts that become house rules are the best kind of revenge. Your aunt would either love it or be so confused and both are wins.

This is the same kind of guy who tells you to change your oil every 3k miles with whatever's on sale at Walmart and swears by it. There's a whole tribe of them out there handing out advice with total confidence and zero real world testing behind it. The bumper thing works if you're moving a riding mower around the yard, not a car down the interstate at 70. He probably saw his uncle do it once in 1987 and made it his whole personality.